People, Parties, and Pissing contests

I feel like such an outsider in groups of people. Everyone else is telling stories, laughing, and having a good time, and I feel like I am disconnected somehow and just observing. It's the same old stories, but everyone else is laughing like it's the first time they have heard them. If I make a comment, what few people hear it just kinda go "hmm", and that's it. I don't think I am a wet blanket or anything, but with all of the things going on I try to think of something new to interject. I guess that's not what most people want. Let's just re-hash the same meaningless shit over and over again. Merry Christmas, and happy happy joy joy.

Lost Month

This month has been a trial. Mom had double knee replacement and I have been trying to be a good son and take her back a fourth to the doctor and help her as best as I can around the house, and meanwhile my grandmother passed away. I have been concentrating on Mom, so I haven't really even grieved for my grandmother. This is my busiest time at work too, so I am juggling everything. Really though, things have been so crappy in my life, I have come to expect it. I think if I was really happy, and had nothing to worry about, I would worry about having nothing to worry about.